


Roll of the Dice

by Linorien



Series: 007 Fest 2020 [8]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: D&D, Gen, Superstitious!Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25150399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/pseuds/Linorien
Summary: James Bond insisted that he wanted to join Q, Eve, and Tanner in their D&D games down in lab 6. Q accepted without realising how difficult it would be to teach a stubborn 00 to roll the right die.
Series: 007 Fest 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810804
Comments: 18
Kudos: 19
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	Roll of the Dice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soufflegirl91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/gifts).



> Collab prompt: Q is trying to explain D&D to Bond, who just wants to keep rolling dice wily-nilly  
> (Souffle)  
> Classic table: superstitious Bond

“Okay so these are your dice. I know you’re familiar with this one, but we call it the d6. This is the d10, and the most useful, the d20.”

“No I like this one best.” James picked up the d100 and rolled it so violently it bounced out of the dice table Q had. 

“Gosh darn it, don’t do that, the cats will eat them.”

* * *

“So then you roll your d20 to attack.”

“But I just said I attacked.”

“Yeah, which is why you have to roll. You roll to determine if your attack hits.”

“But of course it hits. I’m a double-oh.”

“First off, I monitor your missions and I’ve seen your range scores so I know how often you miss. Secondly, that’s just how the game works.”

“So I roll higher for a better chance of hitting?”

“Yes.”

Bond picked up the d100.

* * *

“Wait why are you rolling twice?”

“I got an odd number. That’s unlucky so I rolled again.”

“No, you don’t, no. What did you get? See now you rolled lower.”

“See, unlucky.”

* * *

“Can I just throw a hand grenade?”

“Well you do have a scroll which allows you to cast fireball at a level five spell once.”

“Awesome, I do that.”

“You cast the spell and, he dodges. You do hit the mirror behind him though which you realise, he wasn’t reflected in.”

“Damn it!”

“Yup, you’re fighting a vampire.”

“No, seven years of bad luck! Now I have to reverse the curse. Do I have salt in my inventory?”

* * *

“That’s three sixes in a row, I’m cursed.”

To his left, Eve snickered. “Well, sorta. You did fail the save for the spell the sorcerer cast on your party. Okay so you take 9 fire damage and what are you doing!?”

Q and Eve cringed as the dice rumbled around in the garbage disposal. 

* * *

“Q, are you sure you don’t have any magical drones for this game?” Eve asked. “Or even an infrared robot to map the dungeon for us?”

“Wait let me roll history and see if I’ve been imprisoned here before.”

Q was in fact basing this on the layout of a prison in South Korea Bond had been imprisoned in so he did some simple figuring in his head and decided an 18 or above and he would remember. 

“19.”

“...yeah. Yeah you have.” He handed over the map.

* * *

Eve giggled. “Q if he wants to seduce the fortune teller, you have to let him do it.”

“Besides, this is Bond we’re talking about,” Tanner added. 

“Alright. But remember she’s rebuffed you multiple times so you have disadvantage.”

Bond only smirked. “Okay, before I do that, can I do some shopping?”

“Er, sure?”

“How much is one pack of tarot cards?”

“Three silver.” Q didn’t know where this was going.

“Okay so I use 234 silver.”

Oh frick.

* * *

“Solitaire lays out her three cards to tell your and her future. And since you stacked the deck you tell me, what does she see?”

“She lays out three cards, and they are all the lovers.”

Eve and Tanner burst into laughter. Q tried not to drop his head to the desk. 

“Do I have to roll to successfully seduce her?”

“Yeah. With advantage.”

* * *

“Alright congratulations, you’ve completed your first mission. You each get 400 gold pieces and your respect within the city has gone up one rank. Bond, why are you rolling dice?”

“I’m rolling to see if I can convince them to make me the mayor.”

“You’d need some seriously perfect, oh.”

“Clean 100 plus 2 charisma,” he said proudly. “So I’m mayor now, right?”


End file.
